Last week I made a big decision I thought was going to be really easy to make. Over the past three months I've been on maternity leave from my job and all of my life I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise my children, but when it came down to actually making that decision, I didn't realize how hard it was going to be.
I've been taught to work hard, get an education, and make something of myself. I've had a job every since I was 12. All I knew in my life was working. Work was my sense of accomplishment in life. I thought I had my mind made up about staying home but was nervous I would long for that sense of accomplishment I felt at work.
For nine months I have been going back and forth on the idea of going back to work. Some days I would think, "I've waited five and a half years to have a baby so I could stay home, why am I trying to justify not staying home?" The next day I would think, "Am I going to feel satisfied enough as a person if I stay home?"
It wasn't until about two months ago I was reading through the dozens of blogs I faithfully read and follow when I came across a blog of an old co-worker of mine named Jenna. Jenna is a self taught and very successful blog designer and a designer of beautiful things; she's also one of the girls behind this way cute children's blog called Small Fry. She wrote on her blog that she was closing her shop so she could spend more time with her two little boys. She went on to say that it was an extremely difficult decision and how life is about making brave decisions and making sacrifices.
What she wrote was exactly what I needed to hear. I realized that I needed to make a brave choice and sometimes in life you gotta sacrifice for what's best. Seeing a very successful person give up her life work for her two children is remarkable and commendable. I decided I want to be one of those brave women to put their work life on hold so they can rear and raise their most precious gift, they're children. Jenna's decision gave me the courage to make that decision I knew deep down inside was the right one. To stay home with my beautiful Amelia, to raise, teach, love, and care for her. It wasn't easy, but I knew for me it was the right decision.
I've learned a lot about myself in these past three months since Amelia's been born. I've learned a lot about myself and especially my weaknesses. They've revealed themselves in the ten fold. Through this little journey of mine I've realized the unknown scared me. Not knowing how I would adjust to motherhood, staying home, nursing, and not working.
Last week I signed my resignation papers at my work and have felt tremendous peace. I'm going to miss everyone I worked with, they were my second family. This has been a very spiritual and self evaluating experience for me. I've been blessed in so many ways since this decision. My mind has been working in overdrive on ways I can use my skills and talents for the future. I'm grateful because I might have not had these ideas of inspiration if I went back to work. Sometimes working in the corporate world can leave you feeling like you have no sense of creativity or originality.
I've come to the conclusion that I want to pursue my passions in life. I've been working on some small projects recently and look forward to sharing them with everyone. Again, thanks to my friends and family who've supported me 100% in this decision, especially my husband who I love dearly. Amelia, I look forward to spending every day with you for the next 18 years.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Amelia's Blessing
During Amelia's blessing on Sunday I recorded the blessing on my cell phone so I could remember what McKay said in it. I played back the recording and couldn't hear a thing! I was so upset! Then today, my awesome neighbor told me he wrote down some of the things McKay said. What a sweet gesture! I thanked him so much because McKay couldn't even remember what he said either. Here are some of things McKay said:
-To have Amelia follow the example of her brother Jesus and be baptized
-To be healthy and strong
-Find a worthy companion who she will love dearly and be married
in the temple
-Be able to influence people around her
-Gain a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel
McKay pretty much summed up what every parent would want for their child.
Love you McKay and Amelia.
-Fo
Monday, November 5, 2012
Blessing Day
On Sunday we blessed Amelia Ann at church with all of our families and friends there. The best feeling is having everyone you love and care about dearly all with you in the same place. Taking pictures during church is really tacky, but I couldn't help myself. These pictures were right before McKay blessed her. McKay did a great job, I would be a nervous mess.
Here's some pictures of friends and family at the luncheon.
No gathering would be complete for me without some matchmaking.
Another key ingredient to having a successful luncheon is good food. My good friend Alicia who is also in our ward blessed their baby a couple months ago and we went to their luncheon. They had the most delicious sandwiches, I had like five of them. I told Alicia I was going to steal her sandwich idea for our blessing luncheon. I don't know the name of the sandwich but its really easy, so savory, and you'll eat like ten of them. I looked all over the internet to find a link to this delicious recipe but couldn't find one. Alicia texted me the recipe, so I'll share it with you. Here's a picture that's pretty close to what it looks like.
Hot Ham and Cream Cheese Sandwiches
-(2) 8 oz of cream cheese
-5 green onions
-1 tsp dry mustard
-1 tbs water
-Dozen rolls
-Package of ham
-Package of munster or havarti cheese
Preheat oven to 350. Soften cream cheese to room temperature. Fold in green onions. Mix dry mustard with water. Pour mustard mixture into cream cheese. Set aside. Slice roll, spread one tbs of cream cheese mixture on roll, place a slice of cheese and two slices of ham. Roll up in tin foil and place in oven for 10-15 minutes until cheese and melted. Heaven in a tin foil.
We took some pictures of us on our front porch while there was light outside
We took some pictures of us on our front porch while there was light outside
Thursday, November 1, 2012
A note on motherhood
I've taken some time off from my blog. I've done this on purpose so I could rest, recoup, and be a mommy to my sweet Amelia. I have a humble amount of followers so I'm sure none of them noticed. The funny and crazy thing is that I'm constantly busy taking care of Amelia, Winston, and myself, the house, being a mommy and wife and I feel like I don't get anything done at the same time. I've learned over the past 10 weeks to lower my expectations of myself and my ability to manage life. Before Amelia came into my life, I was so efficient and now I feel like I'm just getting by. There's been some adjustments to motherhood, but most of them I've easily embraced. I never thought eating a meal or using the restroom where there's not a screaming baby in my hands was a luxury. Or having a four hours of sleep at a stretch could cause me to raise a hallelujah! But those times are overshadowed when I see little milestones everyday or when I see her laugh and smile at me. That's the great thing about having a baby as your boss, she doesn't know if you feel inefficient. All she knows is that you feed her and love her unconditionally.
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