For Christmas McKay and I decided to do something "sentimental" instead of spending money. I gave McKay the gift of archiving. I scanned all of his mission pictures to make them digital. As I scanned his pictures I felt like I got to know him better. We didn't know each other while he was serving his mission and seeing him with the people of Costa Rica made me feel like I was there with him. Just looking at the pictures I could tell the McKay gave his all when serving his mission. Even though he lost 50 lbs, he gained so much more by serving the people of Costa Rica. Here are some of my favorites.
For Christmas Eve we spent it with McKay's family. His parents thought it would be a good idea to visit an 97 year old man in their ward. His wife died a couple years ago and has no family living close by. We went by and brought him a plate of food and some treats from our Christmas feast. He was so excited to see us that he made us sit down and have a seat on his 70's flower couch. He told us about what he did that day and his plans for Christmas day. He talked about how he worked for in the steel industry for 50 years and how he used to have a cabin up at Strawberry Reservoir. I felt really good being there and spending our Christmas Eve with this lonely man. After being there for a hour we felt we should probably go. He wouldn't let us leave, to make us stay he gave us a tour of his house, gave us some sugar free Werther's candies, and to top it off he gave each of us a roll of paper towels. As we were leaving I noticed little box opened on his kitchen counter that looked exactly like this:
McKay and I celebrated our 3rd Anniversary today by going to our favorite little place in Midway called the Blue Boar Inn. We spent yesterday working up a sweat by spending the day cross country skiing at Solider Hollow. It was our first time trying this high energized sport. I felt the effects of this activity this morning in my butt. Three years seems like a long time but it's flown by really fast. We laugh when someone asks us how are first year of marriage was because let's be honest, it wasn't the easiest. I had my someone ask me if I would do it all over again. I would definitely say yes! Most normal and smart people grow up and mature before they get married. Being a "child bride" at the young age of 19 I decided to take on this mission of getting married. I remember talking to an older woman when I worked at Nordstrom. She was asking me questions about myself. She told me how she served just got back from serving a mission. I admitted to her that I would have loved to serve a mission. She looked at me and took my hand and said, "Darling, you don't need to serve a mission; being married is a mission in itself."
It was a hard pill to swallow to know that the world didn't revolve around me. I had to grow and mature while being married. The great thing is that I had my best friend to help me through those hard times. Sometimes I felt like McKay acted like my father instead of my spouse. I learned more about myself then any other time in my life. I learned about my weaknesses and my strengths, and that I was not perfect. I learned that I need to listen more and sometimes keep my mouth shut (I'm still learning how to do this better). I feel blessed to have a person who had the patience and heart to stick with me while I had to grow up. Thanks Mckay. We've have had a fun ride so far. I can't wait to see what the next three years bring. Maybe a baby, maybe a house, maybe a career, and maybe be done with school.
I've been pondering lately about the last 6 months of my life. I thought that life would sort itself out more because I didn't have school to worry about. I've found myself having more time on my hand then I know what to do with it. I felt like I haven't used that time wisely. This semester has been very stressful for McKay, he spends most of his days and nights at school until late. This is his senior year and he's been busy with laser projects, studying, and applying for graduate school. McKay and I had these wonderful plans of getting into a Master Programs, getting school paid for, having the opportunity to move away, buying a house, and all of the excitement of having our lives change. I would read friends Facebook statuses and blog entries and see all of the wonderful things happen to them and think, "When is it my turn to have something fabulous happen to me?"
I have to admit it's hard not to be envious or compare yourself to these great accomplishes. This week as I was in self loathing about how some of our plans haven't turned out the way we wanted. I was at work this week talking to my Manager and we were talking about stuff. And she said to me, "Courtney, you should feel grateful." It kind of caught me off guard because I've always thought of myself as a grateful person. While I was driving from work I was waiting for the light to turn green, I looked in front of me and there was a bumper sticker on a car that said, "What are you grateful for?" I felt like I was in the movie Bruce Almighty where he's driving in his car and everything he hears and sees has to do with God.
I thought to myself as I drove through the light that these past six months have been full of ungratefulness. I need to find ways to express my gratitude. Whether it's reaching out to others at church, staying in touch with friends and family, being a being a better friend and wife, doing small act of service for others, and stop this self-loathing. I'm done with this. I need to embrace my life now! I'm going to fill my time with things that are going to make my life better and happier. I'm sorry blog friends, I haven't been a good blogging friend. I'm back to myself again.